I never, ever thought I would be saying this, but I actually feel sorry for Heidi Montag. Why did she do this to herself? Believe me, I’m very pro-plastic surgery, but this is ridiculous. She looks ridiculous. Did she mean to look ridiculous? This is very vexing. “Vexing” is a word I should use more often in real life.

Oprah and John Tesh dated?! Apparently it’s true, but I just can’t see it. Do you think he sang to her?

Really BombshellNaziorwhateveryournameis? You’re apologizing to Sandra Bullock? I’m sure she feels so much better. Especially since your apology is probably exactly as sincere as Jesse James’ attempt to get rehabbed for “sex addiction.”

I need a new imaginary boyfriend. Suggestions anyone?