Dear Robert,

Although you are a great guy and I have enjoyed getting to know you, it has recently come to my attention that you are not Hugh Jackman

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Therefore, I fear I must end things between us.  Normally, your English accent and musical talent would have kept me around, but not this time. Because not only does Hugh have a body that defies words, he has an even better accent than you AND he sings and dances. More importantly, he kicks ass.

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 Please don’t take this personally, but you just can’t compete. However, you do look hot in the new publicity shots for New Moon.

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I hope there are no hard feelings and that we can remain friends. Perhaps you would even consider performing a song at mine and Hugh’s wedding? That would be so great.

Love always,

Julie